


Fix you

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Ned adopted Jon, R Plus L Equals J, Robb and Sansa are twins, and Brandon's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 06:08:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17258969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: “Robb and Sansa definitely have Brandon’s openness,” she agreed before she realised she had spoken his name aloud.In all the time they had spent together, his name had never come up. But the pain wasn’t so strong now, the need to cry about her lost future was less every day. Looking nervously towards Ned, she saw he was smiling softly.Perhaps time had started to heal them after all, the grief bending into acceptance and fond memories instead.She was glad the tide was changing. She wanted Robb and Sansa to know their father and she can’t do that if she couldn’t say his name or talk about him. She supposed Ned wanted the same for Jon.And she tried not to think about how sweet Ned was, how his smile made her heart race in a way it hadn’t since Brandon.





	Fix you

Brandon’s death shouldn’t have surprised her.

Brandon had been one of those ‘grab life with both hands’ type. And at first, the mystery and the passion for life had been so attractive to her. She had fallen so easily for his charms and she had believed, with all the sweet innocence of youth, that they would be happy together forever.

But his love for adventure, his inability to step down from a challenge, had cost him his life and left her and their beautiful twins Robb and Sansa, just barely six months old, to manage alone.

His funeral was where she had first met his family.

He had talked about them of course, but the pregnancy had taken them both by surprise, and living so far away, combined with the added stress of trying to prepare for their new arrival (she had never suspected twins at the time) had made it impossible to make plans to go and meet.

When she had been with Brandon, she had thought about Winterfell and how terribly Brandon missed it. She had known straight away that this was where he should be put to rest.

The North was beautiful in a strange, almost haunting way. Something to be admired and almost worshipped. It wasn’t as flowery and golden as the south but it had its own beauty that Catelyn could appreciate. Perhaps she would have been able to live here, if Brandon had asked it of her, even if she had loved her time in Dorne.

It had been Ned who had come to speak with her. The grief was so raw in his eyes and Catelyn could feel her own eyes burning just at the sight of him. The crash hadn’t just taken Brandon from him, but his father and sister too. Catelyn blamed herself for it all. She had insisted he arrange for his family to meet his children. If she had just been patient…

If not for the black-haired babe in his arms giving a well-timed gurgle, she feared they would both have broken down in tears.

Robb and Sansa were at Old Nan’s, the lovely old lady who lived next door to her. She had been such a blessing to Catelyn, and had insisted on coming North with her for support. She had also insisted on taking the twins for the day. Catelyn would have enough on her mind today without needing to care for the children too, she had insisted.

“Who is this?” Catelyn asked, attempting a smile as the babe’s head turned and large grey eyes peered up at her.

“Jon,” Ned replied, glancing down at the boy as he started to fuss. “He is Lyanna’s.”

The memory of Brandon’s wrath at hearing that Rhaegar Targaryen had seduced his sister and gotten her pregnant flashed in her mind. Catelyn had tried to calm him, reminding him that they hadn’t planned to get pregnant either but it had worked out in the end. But then, Brandon hadn’t already been married with two children. That did warrant Brandon’s wrath, she supposed.

Maybe that was why Lyanna and Rickard had come down, to escape from the gossip for a while. Catelyn was only grateful for whatever had made them decide to leave Jon at home with his uncle instead. The thought that this baby could have died too was enough to set her off all over again.

“Well,” she sniffed, blinking back the tears as best she could. “I’m staying for a week or so. I’m sure Robb and Sansa would love to meet their cousin.”

“Yes,” Ned replied hoarsely, shifting Jon in his arms slightly when the babe made another sound of annoyance, his legs kicking out to try and get attention and his hands grasping at Ned’s tie. “Perhaps this weekend? I need to sort…”

“Absolutely,” she cut him off, seeing the way his shoulders shuddered with the effort of trying to finish the sentence. “Saturday then? At the park by the school?”

It was the only place she really knew, with it being right across from her hotel. And thankfully, Ned seemed to think it was fine, giving her a small nod before turning to greet someone else who had come to offer their condolences.

***

Jon was just a month older than Robb and Sansa, already rolling onto his hands and knees although he didn’t have the courage to crawl just yet. Still, all three children were terrible for rolling away just now.

Catelyn instantly knew that Ned was nothing like Brandon. He was much more calm and quiet, watching the children playing on the blanket before them with a gaze akin to an alpha wolf protecting his pack. His eyes always following whichever babe had decided to roll off the blanket, letting them get so far before getting up and bringing them back.

They talked about work, the children but skirted around the true reason for why they were here. She wasn’t sure it was best to keep it locked away like this, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about Brandon either.

Jon picked up the train that Sansa had just set down. Immediately, she burst into tears, her little fists waving in the air and Jon blinked at her in bewilderment, not understanding that he had upset her. Robb, who had rolled off the blanket once more, watched them with interest as though they were a television drama.

“Jon, give the train back.”

Although not speaking yet, Jon understood Ned’s command fine, his brows furrowing at the injustice of it all. In his distraction, Sansa reached out to take the train herself, tugging at it and bringing Jon’s attention back to her. Instantly, Jon started to cry too as he tried to pull the train back.

“Okay, I think the play date is over for today,” Catelyn said brightly, pulling Sansa up first to break up the drama happening on the blanket.

Old Nan had had to go back home for her own family’s needs, meaning Catelyn was on her own again until next week, when she would go back to Dorne and try to figure out what she was going to do to support her family.

“I…” Ned started, clipping a still sniffing Jon into his stroller. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh?” Catelyn replied as she strapped Sansa in and turned her attention to Robb.

“The North is cheaper to live in,” he said. “And, not that I don’t think you could manage fine yourself, but if you were here, Benjen and I could help with Robb and Sansa too. And, it might be better for these three to be close, you know. After everything.”

She would get lonely in Dorne, she knew. But she hadn’t really thought about moving either. Perhaps because without Brandon, she hadn’t thought she could move to the North, had never expected the Starks to accept her when she blamed herself for what had happened. But Ned didn’t blame her, even when she had first apologised, or tried to through her sniffing and sobbing. He had just given her a kind smile and shook his head.

Still it was a big decision.

“I’ll need to think about it,” she replied honestly.

***

It had taken her almost two months to finally decide to move to the North.

The move was stressful with two children who had just started to crawl. So many times, she would be chasing Robb or Sansa around the house as they tried their best to move everything she had put into neat little piles for packing or for donating.

But Ned had at least managed to get the flat she had bought in Winterfell from the sale of her and Brandon’s house sorted and ready for them to move straight into. He even promised to have milk and all other essentials in the house in time for her arriving.

While her things had been shipped via courier, she had flown with the children as she had done the first time. She couldn’t drive and she didn’t want to take the ferry in the middle of winter. Her childhood in Riverrun had taught her to love the sea but to respect it too.

As promised, Ned was there with Jon and the van was unloading outside. The kettle was already on by the time she had hung her coat up and brought the children in. Ned had tried to help with lifting Robb but they were at the stage of being wary of strangers and neither had remembered Ned from the last time.

Jon was also quite shy, crawling behind Ned and peering at her from around the frame of the kitchen door. His eyes followed her as she placed first Robb and then Sansa into the living room and Ned brought a box of their toys through to distract them while they tried to sort out her things.

“Choo-choo!” Jon called suddenly, spotting the train that Sansa had taken out of the box. Sitting on his bottom, he looked to Ned and pointed enthusiastically. “Choo-choo!”

“Yeah, that’s a train,” Ned replied softly bending to pick Jon up. “You have to share though buddy.”

“Oh, I bought another one,” Catelyn laughed, taking a red train out of her pocket and handing it to Jon.

He snuggled closer to Ned as she approached, watching as Ned took the toy, his eyes betraying his interest in the toy.

“What do you say Jon?” Ned prompted as Jon took the toy and promptly placed it in his mouth.

“Ta,” he mumbled, even though he didn’t look at her at all.

“Okay buddy, play with your cousins now,” Ned said, placing him down on the floor of the living room and clipping the gate shut.

“Thank you so much for getting this place sorted,” Catelyn said with a grateful smile. “It has been so stressful. I’m never moving again!”

“No problem,” he responded, moving back into the kitchen. “Tea before we start unloading the van?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She had sold all the furniture in the house to make it easier to move but Ned had managed to acquire some new stuff for her, at least to start off with until she managed to get herself sorted. She hoped once Robb and Sansa were in nursery, she could get a part-time job. Maybe she would finish her degree someday too.

Sansa’s laugh distracted her as Ned filled the teapot. Jon was pulling himself to stand, using the sofa for support. Sansa was sitting beside him, her hands clapping excitedly as she watched this new trick with interest. Jon grinned at her, proud of himself and the attention his cousins were giving him as Robb crawled over and attempted to copy him.

“Ned!” she called, tilting her head the tiniest amount, too scared in case she missed anything else.

Ned appeared at her side, watching the scene before them. Robb managed to pull himself to a stand, Jon watching him intently. It only lasted a second before Robb was falling back on his bottom but Catelyn had choked at the sight all the same.

“It’s amazing,” Ned commented. “How quickly they change and grow at that age.”

“Have you ever thought of having any yourself?” she asked.

“Well, I would need to…” He stopped suddenly, his cheeks colouring and Catelyn felt her eyebrows raising as he cleared his throat and continued. “I’m rather shy with the fairer sex.”

Not like Brandon at all, she thought. Brandon hadn’t had any problems with the ladies, and he had the looks to help too. Not that Ned was ugly at all, she corrected herself quickly. It surprised her that he had more or less implied that he was a virgin for she could see many women liking the silent, brooding type.

It surprised her that she had the fleeting thought of what a good boyfriend he would be.

***

“Jon!”

Catelyn smiled around her cup at Robb’s outburst as the front door opened.

Over the months, the children had become inseparable. At first, she had worried that the boys would bond and Sansa would be forgotten. But she had underestimated her daughter and her ability to wrap her brother and cousin around her finger.

Already, at fifteen months, Sansa had the charm of her father, her blue eyes able to break even Ned into giving her an extra sweet. She had even managed to get Jon to give up both of the beloved red trains to her when they played.

“Hello,” Ned greeted her, Jon’s hand clutched in his own.

“Morning,” she replied, draining her cup.

They were going to take the children to see Santa at the shopping centre and get last minute Christmas gifts. Ned had invited her and the children over to dinner at his house, with his brother Benjen attending too.

Sansa toddled through to see who was at the door, giving Ned a dazzling smile when he greeted her. Letting go of Jon’s hand, he dropped to his knees and held his arms out. Giggling, Sansa leaped into his embrace, her arms linking around his neck as he lifted her up.

Robb had already stolen Jon’s attention by showing him his latest toy – an army helicopter and the pair waddled through together to the living room. Seeing that her brothers were doing something without her, Sansa started to wriggle in Ned’s arms until he set her back down.

“I’m glad I moved up here,” she commented as she put her mug away, casting him a smile over her shoulder. “Robb and Sansa are so happy, I think it is good for them to have Jon.”

“Yes, Jon is a shy lad. I think having Robb and Sansa will help him in the long run, with school and things.”

“Robb and Sansa definitely have Brandon’s openness,” she agreed before she realised she had spoken his name aloud.

In all the time they had spent together, his name had never come up. But the pain wasn’t so strong now, the need to cry about her lost future was less every day. Looking nervously towards Ned, she saw he was smiling softly.

Perhaps time had started to heal them after all, the grief bending into acceptance and fond memories instead.

She was glad the tide was changing. She wanted Robb and Sansa to know their father and she can’t do that if she couldn’t say his name or talk about him. She supposed Ned wanted the same for Jon.

And she tried not to think about how sweet Ned was, how his smile made her heart race in a way it hadn’t since Brandon.

***

She tried to fight it.

But Ned, calm, sweet Ned, seemed to just be impossible to resist. He would always be there to help with any repairs, he adored Robb and Sansa as much as Jon. He was kind and would bring round cakes for them at the weekend to enjoy over coffee.

Even as the twins second birthday came around, and Sansa stated simply that she wanted a daddy, Catelyn had managed to laugh it off with Ned even as her mind conjured images of them together. It wouldn’t be so different really, they did things as a family already. It would just be the physical side of it.

And that was what had broken her, the idea of Ned and her in her bed.

The children were going through a phase of wanting to sleep over at each other’s houses every weekend, and tonight they were here.

Ned had dropped Jon off and helped her get him to bed.  And as he had been going out of the door, he had given her that soft smile and something had clicked inside her. She had taken his hand, grasped his shoulder and then kissed him.

He had gone so still, she had feared she had misread the look in his eyes. And just as she started to pull away, his hand had gripped her hip, the other in her hair, pulling her back and his mouth moving eagerly against her own.

A moan bubbled in her throat as he kicked the door shut and nudged her backwards towards her own room along the corridor.

After, the sweat cooling on her skin, their limbs entwined and his fingers running through her hair, she asked him if she had been his first as she had thought. He had flushed, asking if it had been so obvious. She had shook her head and kissed his chest, assuring him that it had been wonderful and sweet and perfect.

She knew people would struggle to understand them, the fact she had Robb and Sansa by his brother would always be a gossip point. But she didn’t care what anyone said, she couldn’t ever think that what Ned and her had, what they could have in the future, could ever be wrong.

 


End file.
